Pomegranate Punch

Let me give you my favorite recipe for Pomegranate Punch. After the great determination was made—after Hades negotiated that I would stay with him for six months out of the year—since I had eaten six pomegranate seeds—and get to go up above for the other six months—we can all eat as many pomegranate seeds and as much pomegranate juice as we would like.

You take one pomegranate, open it, and separate the seeds. Crush about one-third of the seeds to extract the juice but leave the rest of them whole.

Open up your best bottle of champagne—down here we stock the champagne that was made in the old way—the way where monks tending the aging cellars would lose their eyes when the corks popped out prematurely and occasionally would die in the process. We’re especially pleased when one of those monks is available to serve us this miraculously wonderful champagne.

So, you open up the champagne, being careful not to lose one of your eyes—and after mixing the pomegranate juice with an equal portion of Grand Marnier or Cointreau, pour the champagne into your best crystal beaker and toss the remaining pomegranate seeds in. Then, let the magic begin.

Now to get real magic, you also need to include some of the extracts of herbs that are only available down here in Hell.