Do I Have Any Power at All?

I wonder what Hades does when I’m up above? Sometimes I think I’d like it if he spent more time with Marilyn and Helen—Helen of Troy is here too now—and their friends.

I guess I wouldn’t like it really if he were unfaithful to me, but AT THE SAME TIME, I wish he’d lose control—at least once. When Hades makes love to me, I am overwhelmed and my desire makes us both warm, but he is always in control and ultimately, essentially cold. That’s what I hate about him.

Ultimately, I must come to him and give myself to him. Do I have any power at all? Not in saying no to Hades because he will always maneuver things so I never have the opportunity to say no. But I suppose I have the ability to say no by just not caring. But if I don’t care I become cold and the cold in Hell would become exponential.

I wonder what it’s like to be here when I’m not here. Hades needs my warmth. I wonder if that’s why he had to have me.

I shiver before going to bed.

I don’t know why I love Hades so much.